Must. Stop. Buying. Presents. Formykids.

 

Graph of Christmas excitement

A few years before I started my parenting journey, my sister had a sweet little girl named Lucy (who is now 5). At Christmas my sister would send out a really long, detailed Christmas list for Lucy to the family, with online links to specific toys. My sister has always been more into the traditions of Christmas than the gifts, so I was always a little surprised by the lists that came out every year. During this same time I was seeing parents on black Friday getting to stores at 5am (these were the days before that madness creeped into Thanksgiving) to buy the hottest toys for their kids, waiting in lines a mile long with a dedication that I just didn’t understand. I saw parents, parents that I knew, spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on their kids for Christmas.

At the time I didn’t really know what the deal was, but maybe that these people were getting caught up in what they saw around them and assumed was normal. But I was so wrong. Because, do you know what I think the root of it is?

Love.

Seriously, I believe that.

I will admit that as humans sometimes our efforts at showing love are a little misguided. And sometimes love makes people crazy and do weird things. Well folks, this is one of those things. My sister’s Christmas list for Lucy wasn’t about anything but seeing Lucy’s face light up on Christmas morning, because a parent gets so much joy in delighting their children. It was about having just the right thing under the tree, the thing that Lucy would hold and play with and know, without any doubt, that the person who gave it to her loves her very much. Most of the parents who go a little crazy buying toys for their kids are doing it because they love the heck out of those little people. Love them so much that they want to get them the best gift they can, the very very best.

You know, sometimes parents feel like we are failing our kids. A lot of the time we don’t know what we’re doing and sometimes we worry that our kids are suffering because of it. But a gift can say “I know you and I love you, and I may mess up a lot…but I NAILED it for Christmas, am I right?!” For some of us, it’s a chance to show our kids in a tangible way that they are the most important things in our lives and that we love them more than our words or our hugs can say. How much do I love you? I love you (NEW BIKE) much! I love you (RAPUNZEL DRESS) much! I love you (TRAMPOLINE) much!

It’s not necessary. And we know it. We could give our kids nothing for Christmas and we could still show them in a million other ways that we love them. Love does not equal stuff, but don’t you feel special when a friend gives you just the right little gift? Doesn’t it make you feel known and loved? That is the best feeling. That you are known, known so well, and even though that person knows your faults and failings they still love you so much. A gift can say, hey I accept you. Totally. And it makes me happy to make you happy.

Chad lost his job right before Jude was born, and I was in the middle of gathering things for the new baby. Pretty much every single baby item I owned was pink and covered in flowers, so we wanted to buy a few things for the boy that was headed our way. I felt so helpless, in the midst of the loss of a job and an income and about to have a baby. Babies cost money, people. So I was trying my best to find things either cheaply or for free, meanwhile the nesting instincts were flowing strong in my veins. I was stressing out.

Not much later I got an email from an old friend, offering me a few of her cloth diapers. Not only were they the exact brand I wanted, but they were in the right sizes and colors. God was saying to me: I love you (NEW DIAPERS) much! A few weeks earlier we had found a practically brand new infant car seat and base by a dumpster. A great, safe brand that seemed like it had been in a babysitter’s car and had been used maybe once. God again: I love you (NEW CAR SEAT) much! He did this again and again for me: a rocking chair, a baby sling, a crib, a crib bumper, buckets of clothes, and so much more. I did not ask for any of it, it just came to me. The blessings continued after Jude was born, and for all of this past year (which was a tough one). I felt known and loved. So loved. He was telling me that even though my life was crumbling apart around me, I care about you. I, the God of the Universe, love you (FREE TRIP) much! I love you (NEW COAT) much! I love you (SHOES FOR YOUR KIDS) much!

Those gifts, even though they were just small things, were huge to me. They were a way that I could see with my eyes that my God loves me and that the people around me love me. I could feel it with my hands. My heart was so hurt that I was having trouble feeling God’s love there, so He made it so that I could feel it in other ways. Simple ways that said I care. They care. We all care.  

I know that God gets GREAT joy from blessing us, providing for us, and giving us gifts. Just like parents get so excited about Christmas, because they get to shower their children with presents. Is it any wonder that we delight in the giving? That sometimes we go a little crazy about it? That we have a harder time falling asleep on Christmas Eve than our kids do? The excitement that we feel, the deep joy that we get from giving gifts to our kids is a hint, a taste of the joy that God gets from giving to us. I think that one of the greatest lessons from being a parent is that God loves us more than we love our kids. That idea blows my mind.

So, yes, sometimes parents go overboard on Christmas. We might spend too much money or get lost in the madness of Christmas shopping. We might seem like we just want, want, want. And maybe sometimes we do need a reality check, and to be reminded that presents aren’t the only part of what makes Christmas so special. I know plenty of parents who buy their kids very little for Christmas, and I am so impressed by them. I honestly wish I could be more like that. But for people like me who have to reign themselves in all day every day or they would buy every single Tangled-related item for their two three year old girls? Well, I hope you can see my craziness and not judge it. Because truly, it’s all in an effort to make a deep, beautiful love a little more visible.