Taking the "Bad" with the Good

If you're around new parents and you are not one, you probably think they all secretly hate their kids because we are ALWAYS trying to put our children to bed. "He only slept for 30 minutes!!" may sound to you like we didn't get enough time away from them to put on makeup and watch the six thousand shows on our DVRs. While this is sometimes true (be honest), what we know and you don't is that bad baby sleep has a snowball effect. A bad morning nap almost always means a bad second nap, and a bad third nap, and maybe a 5 minute fourth nap, and two hours of rocking and feeding and fervent praying to get the baby to go to sleep.

And then they will wake up 36 times throughout the night.

And the next morning we will get down on our knees before it's time for the baby's first nap. We will set down our coffee cup that we have now refilled three times, and we will plead with the LORD to bless this nap. Please Jesus, you made this baby's body and you know that he NEEDS TO SLEEP FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR. Absolutely Needs To. Bless him, God. Hallelujah Amen.

Believe me folks, I know ALL about troubled sleepers. My girls were awful daytime sleepers and it took absolutely forever to get their overtired little selves to bed. Baby Jude is now three months old, and I'm remembering what it took to get the girls to bed when they were three months old:
Tandem breastfeed babies, usually accompanied by lots of fussing
Give them a supplement bottle
Each person takes a baby in a different room to rock and sing to them
Pray that they fall asleep
When they do, put them in crib (they shared one)
Go back in two minutes later when they wake up
Shove pacifiers back in
Pat their backs, shush them, sing to them
Pick them up, rock them again
Repeat Repeat Repeat
Cry, try not to look at the clock ("It's been two hours!")
Repeat Repeat Repeat

Tonight I left my brother's birthday party early so that I could get Jude to bed. I will NEVER complain about his early bedtime, even if it makes me miss out on some things. Anyway I get home, snuggle with my little guy, offer him a bottle, and he drifts off to sleep (mostly) in my arms. I put him in his crib. The End.

As I write this I am terrified that somehow I'm jinxing it.

Now, don't get the wrong impression. Does he sometimes wake up at 5:45 for the day? Yes. Does he sometimes take super short naps? Sure. Does he ocassionally wake up 4 times at night to eat? Yes. But you know what I realized this time around that I'm not sure I fully understood when the girls were little? Babies are people. They are little tiny people, and you cannot make them do anything. You can help them, you can listen to them and pay attention to what relaxes them and what doesn't, you can watch for sleep signs, but you absolutely cannot make them do anything. You can't make them go to sleep, you can't make them stay asleep, and that's just life. If your baby only takes 30 minute naps for a while, that's just life. It's frustrating as hell, but it's not always something that can be fixed. It's just something that is, and it will pass.

You know what else?

MAJOR Toddler disobedience- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Pumping 6 times a day- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Babies keeping me from sleep- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
All of my housecleaning being undone in 15 minutes- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Doling out time-out after time-out- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Saying "BE QUIET." 600 times a day- It's just something that is, and it will pass.

But also...

My children hanging onto my every word- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Snuggling with my sweet, soft baby- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Playing pretend "baby tiger!" with my toddlers- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Being the one to introduce three open minds to just about everything- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
My little ones crying "Momma!" and running to hug me when they first see me in the morning- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
Fighting over who gets to sit in my lap- It's just something that is, and it will pass.
That goofy grin Jude gives me 600 times a day- It's just something that is, and it will pass.

I'm learning to embrace the bad with the good, and I'm realizing that it isn't even bad. It just is. I no longer expect my kids to be like the books say they should be, to sleep the "right" amounts or to be developmentally on par. They are people too, and we are all so wonderfully different. I want to get to know them better, discover more about who they are, and learn more firmly how to respect their preferences, differences, and eccentricities.

And I'm telling myself a hundred times a day, with the wonderful and the "bad" that this, all of this, is something that is, and something that will pass.

Savor it.