Ready for bikini season? Six easy steps for the perfect post-baby body!

In a feverish bought of recent spring cleaning, I pulled out bins of old clothes that I keep under my bed looking for items to donate. I came across my maternity bathing suit from last summer, and could hardly believe how big it was. It was massive. Did I actually fill this thing out? I did, I remember, and to be honest it was a little tight towards the end. In the same bin I found my pre-baby string bikini that I’ve been holding onto since before the girls were born.  It was so tiny. Like, miniscule. How was my body ever that small? How did that triangle of fabric cover my whole boob? Am I missing part of this, this can’t be the whole thing, right? It’s frightening, amazing, bizarre to think that the same body wore both of those swimsuits comfortably. And now, it’s time for a new one to fit my new body. Here is a little breakdown of my body’s journey the last few summers based on my bathing suits:

Summer of 2009- teeny, mind-blowingly small bikini. Like, you even try a cannonball and it's gone and sucked down the pool drain before you come up for air.  

Summer of 2010- massive, enormous maternity bathing suit that I stretched out and ruined, but was still pretty cute. Plus, I had no kids yet and hours to spend at the pool. Remember those days? When your pool bag had not one single goldfish cracker in it??  

Summer of 2011- modest, small tankini that my newly miniscule boobs (that recently stopped producing milk) couldn’t even begin to fill out. We're talking baby-sized tube socks full of sand. You're welcome for the visual.

Summer of 2012- shroud-like black maternity bathing suit that must be made of three full yards of fabric. If nuns could get married and have babies and needed to buy a bathing suit, they would buy that one.

Summer of 2013- ??

So, bathing suit shopping is nigh for me. I wrote a guideline for myself so that I won’t fall back into my bad habits of over-scrutinizing and under-appreciating my body as I start to see more and more of it with summer on the horizon. I turned my guidelines into something for you too, in case you’re at all like me and sometimes struggle with body image insecurities.

1- Look at your kid(s). Before you step foot in a store to try on a bathing suit, take a long look at the people your body made. Look at their long eyelashes and soft skin, look at their silly grins and tiny fingers, and look at the life they have made for you out of the life your body gave to them. None of it would have happened without your incredible body, and God’s amazing design.

2-  Thank God, every day, for your body. For all of the things it has done and continues to do for you. Whether you like to run, swim, or just walk really slowly while holding the hand of a toddler who Is trying their best to run into the middle of the street, be consciously thankful that you can do it. If you are breastfeeding, be thankful that you can do it. Try and remember to say a prayer of gratitude for your strong arms when you pick up your little one, or for your soft lap when they snuggle close. For your ears that can hear their cries and laughter, and for your eyes that, if you’re like me, marvel at how beautiful they are, every single day.  

3-Realize that your body is on a journey, just like you. It’s a reflection of where you are in life, and we are all marked by our journey, even physically. My stomach looks like one that has once been full of life, near bursting with the kicks of little people fighting for space as they get ready for life in our world. It tells a hugely important part of my story and I don’t need  to erase that. My boobs have stretch marks, having gone from insignificant things that I rarely thought of to these incredible factories that have helped to sustain the lives of three small people. What a gift my body gave me, milk for my babies. I don’t need to look like that didn’t happen to feel good about myself, I am just so thankful that it did. Another part of my journey, marked.

4- Consider taking a break for a little while from fashion magazines, tabloids, or entertainment news. Even just tv. It’s really hard to look at the women who are center stage in Hollywood and then look at our own bodies in the dressing rooms at Target (the lighting, WHY). They may not be free to live in their own skin comfortably and are probably under pressure and scrutiny, and you are not (unless you are doing it to yourself). Be free to be you, and celebrate that freedom with some cake and a margarita. Or three.

5- Step back for some perspective. What’s more important here, the fact that I just brought a life into this world or my fat butt? Your baby is life changing. Your fat butt is not.

6- Eat, drink, and be merry. I spent some time in college being obsessed with weight, food, and exercise. I can never get that time back. It really wasn’t until I got pregnant with my girls that God totally healed me of that anxiety and helped me to see how incredible my body is and how I wasn’t respecting it by trying to beat it into submission. I have let that control go, and now have a healthy relationship with food and with my body. My old anxieties try to sneak up on me every now and then, but I have chosen to enjoy my life with good food, good drinks, and lots of merriment.

 

The longest road.

Dear friends,
        Chad and I have been on a journey for the past 9 months: Joblessness. It's so easy to post happy pictures and snapshots of our carefree moments, because our happy times still exist. But this whole time there has been an undercurrent of questions, working on finding work, rejections, insecurity, crying out to God, and confusion. We've considered moving abroad, Chad has considered changing his career path many, many times. We've asked for help from some, receieved help from unexpected sources, and had to trust God like never before.

But what we haven't been able to do is Be Still.

Having three small children is a 24hour/day job. On top of that, looking for a job is a constant stresser as you always feel like you should be working on that, because it is so important.  On top of that, Chad has a part-time contract (editing) job which he works anywhere from 20-40 hours per week. So, being still before God? How? When?

Chad mentioned to me last night that for our entire marriage we have gone from one stressful situation to another. Grad school, job loss, moving, children, more job loss...we have always struggled for stability. It's hard to look around us and see other people our age doing "well" while we aren't even able to pay our bills on our own. This need keeps our feet moving, keeps us searching for the answer, the job, the thing that will turn our life around. But you know what? All of our looking has done us no good. Not one bit. We have come up short, no matter which path we've started down. We have spent nine months wandering around the desert looking everywhere but up.

So, we're stopping. The children are our joys and whose smiles and hugs have given us the strength to keep going, to keep trusting, and to keep believing. Where would we be without them? They constantly remind us that no matter how scary our bank account balance is, we are rich beyond measure. But it is quite easy to let them stand between us and God, they are such a convenient thing to get "too busy" with. So, Chad is going to take a little break from home. He is going on a quest, a journey, a retreat to seek God and to Be Still. I'm going to do my best here at home to do the same thing.

So, here is what we are asking for:
1- Prayers. We can't do this on our own, as we should have learned by now. We need you and your prayers. We need your help, your love, your support. It's hard to ask for, but we know we aren't meant to go this alone.
2- Some place for Chad to go. Hopefully the mountains? He feels so close to God there. Do you have a cabin, know of someone who does? It could basically be a shack, he's a seasoned camper. The more cut off from the world, the better. His mind has been going non-stop for 9 months, and it's not easy to just turn it off when his environment is the same. Do you have a favorite retreat place to suggest?
3- More prayers. For healing, clarity, hope, vision. For joy, freedom from worry, and forgiveness. For our ears to be opened to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit, that we have tried to hear but only when convenient for us.

I hated writing this, but at the same time I feel a little better now. Our "secret" is out. This road has been a long one, and we have felt every different emotion in the book except for real Peace.

So, I'm not sure how to end this. If you are struggling like we are, just know that you are NOT ALONE. It is the hardest position to be in, seeing these beautiful faces all day long that you can't take care of that way you want to, but I know that we are not alone in this. Please pray for us as we try to stop the noise and Be Still before our God.

Andrea and Co.